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Don't worry. I'll sneak in some real cookies and milk this year.Speaking of last year, I'd like to talk to you about last year's present. I appreciate the fact that you were thinking of me and don't want to seem ungrateful, but I must admit to some confusion. I just don't see how the 150 pairs of jockstraps could have possibly been intended for me. I just know that somewhere in the world there is a football team running around commando. Perhaps there was an error in the elf processing center or something.In order to head off such an error, I've decided to write a little earlier than usual. Did you like the bunny stamp I used? It's so hard to find one this time of year that isn't wearing shamrocks while fireworks burst over a pumpkin patch.At any rate, here's my most wanted list for this Christmas. I'd like to begin by saying that, while I haven't been a good girl ALL year long, my husband assures me that Santa likes naughty girls too. In fact, several times during the year, he has. I saw her cheating when I went to visit her after school one day. It wasn't the first time I had visited and it wasn't the first time I had just opened the door without knocking. Then I saw her getting screwed by some schmuck. Not only a bitch but not a true blond either.It was another month before I found a girl I thought I could trust. I met her at a hop at the school. She was a freshman. Immediately I liked her. She was sweet, and likable. Her red hair and petite body made her look very young. That night I gave her her first kiss. Clara was my girlfriend.I, of course, introduced her to Tom and he complimented us on how nice we looked together. It wasn't long before we began to double date with Tom and any number of other girls. He never seemed to keep a steady girlfriend and they didn't seem to mind. Clara mentioned this a couple of times to me. I told her that he wasn't the type to settle down or want to get to know a girl. She seemed perplexed about Tom but it didn't get in the.
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